This seems like a nice place to take a nap...zzzzz

"One alcoholic drink is limit for busdrivers" That explains a lot!

Shake, Rattle, and Roll

what else is there to say?

Oh My

I've always thought this, too, but never had the guts to say it out loud

Muffin Top

How exactly does one go about defining "muffin top" to someone who is a "muffin top"? Maybe I could just email them a link to: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=muffin%20top.

CDC Convinces Kids of Swine Flu Precautions

A filthy martini or a filthy bathroom?

Approached by friend at a bar and was asked, "I'm here with 3 people from N.A. Would you please order me a filthy martini, Ketel One, extra olives, and bring it to me in the ladies' bathroom? It's OK because alcohol is not my drug of choice."

Why are we falling behind educationally?

Spoken by an 8th grade science teacher: "A bee is not an animal. It's an organism."
Spoken by a 5th grade teacher: "You can't be addicted to something unless it has a chemical in it."

Random Quote #7

Until all the clichés are ironed out of the system there will be temporary assistance...

Disney x Halloween / Ghetto = ?

Uhm...yeah, crumbs between the keys is why I can't play the piano.

Fiat builds a Jeep

Random Quote #6

"I'm living spontaneously through you."

Line in 'Weeds'

You're fucked like a stray dog in Chinatown.

Random Quote #5

In response to an Apples to Apples round where the adjective was 'painful' and the cards played included, 'mirrors' and 'salads'...

"Not only am I losing, I'm being insulted too!"

Epidemiologists like fishing too...

Random Quote #4

"I just really couldn't get into Arrested Development. There just wasn't enough character development."

Bunny in the park... not reproducing...

Random Quote #3

"We met this guy who was really cool. He was from Australia and was like half white, half Hispanic, and half Filipino."

Do the shuffle...

Random Quote #2

"No Doubt is coming... with Gwen Stefani."

Someone has strong feelings about Easter...

Meet the Girlfriend

Met a friend's girlfriend... some topics of conversation, her responses, and some side commentary:

- 80's new wave music, "New wave music is so not new any more. It died in the 80's. But it's coming back so it's new again now." [umm... yeah... way to be decisive...]

- Sun In, "It's not the peroxide in Sun In that smells." [... is there anything else in Sun In...]

- Fanny packs, "Fanny packs are back in. It's hip to wear fanny packs now. Just wait and you'll see them around again." [... did she just use the words hip and fanny pack in the same sentence...]

- Quitting smoking, "Well, you haven't smoked a cigarette in over a week so that's really good. You just need to be able to do it for 17 days. If you can do anything for 17 days then you can do it for the rest of your life." [... where do I even begin on this one... we have just found the cure for addiction, just make people stop for 17 days, because they will never relapse. No more worries about the obesity epidemic, because if people can just be active for 17 days, they'll be active for the rest of their lives. Babe, you don't have to worry about breaking up, we've been dating for more than 17 days, so clearly we're going to last forever!]

Random Quote #1

"I'm gonna blow a casket!"

Cake Dimensions

We were talking to Oblivia about a cake that she was making for a friends birthday. Oblivia proceeds to provide details about how great the cake was going to be. It was white with purple frosting and had sparkles... sounded really great. Then she started to describe how large the cake was: "It's a round 18-inch cake that's 2-dimensional...", confused by the comment, I asked, "Oh, do you mean it's 3-dimensional?", she responds, "No! It's a 2-dimensional cake!", okay.... *ignore the comment*

She then starts describing this cake that she had made last year for her friend's daughter's birthday, "She wanted a pumpkin cake, so what I did was I got two baseball forms and stuck them together to make the pumpkin, so it was like a 4-dimensional cake..."

First off, is it really necessary to specify the dimensions of a cake? I mean isn't it safe to assume most things are 3-dimensional... just saying... Also, what exactly would the fourth dimension be? It's the special time travelling cake! New and improved! Finally, why was the first cake 2-dimensional and the other one 4-dimensional? Well clearly if the first cake is 2-dimensional and for the second cake she had to use two 2-dimensional cakes to make it, then two plus two equals four. Voila! You have a 4-dimensional cake...